In the Name of Jesus

Pope Benedict XVII’m having trouble wrapping my head around this latest papal crisis involving the Pope’s supposedly anti-Islamic statements. And that’s not because I have any difficulty understanding what he said. (My sympathies actually lie with the pontiff here, because despite the fact that the passage he quoted wasn’t particularly kind to Islam, it was just a quote.) I just don’t understand the modern-day Pope in the first place.

Insulting someone else’s religion isn’t what I’m trying to do here. I’m just trying to understand the concept, because at this point I’m really having a difficult time taking Pope Benedict XVI seriously. The position just seems so anathema to the entire concept of Christianity.

Keep in mind that I’m a non-believer. Keep in mind that I’m not particularly well-versed in the New Testament, and my knowledge of the Old is a little creaky as well.

But it seems to me that even a facile reading of the Gospels would lead one to conclude that, if Jesus were to suddenly drop by Larry King’s studio tomorrow night to speak his mind, he would advise the leader of the world’s largest Christian faith under no uncertain terms to:

  1. Sell off all his shit, including every last square foot of Vatican City real estate
  2. Get his ass out of that bubble
  3. Charter a plane to downtown Baghdad or sub-Saharan Africa
  4. Spend the rest of his life ministering directly one-on-one to the poorest and most disenfranchised of the world’s population

Again, I know this is coming off as pissy and disrespectful, but I really, sincerely don’t understand it and want someone to explain it to me.

Now, please don’t think I’m trying to claim the Pope is evil. I’m aware that Catholic charities and Catholic churches and just plain ol’ Catholics spend a lot of time and money and effort ministering to the poor. I’m aware that there’s much more to the faith than just shoveling money and blessings to the destitute.

But I don’t understand the palace. I don’t understand the splendor. Would Jesus have sanctioned a big, gaudy palace? Seems to me that the guy I read about in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John would have told his emissary on Earth to get the cheapest, sparest office he could find, somewhere in close proximity to the people who need him the most. Like Fallujah, or Darfur. Jesus was the guy who hung out with the lepers, beggars, and prostitutes. Shouldn’t the Pope be out there looking for the direst, most miserable spot on Earth?

Someone needs to explain to me how the modern concept of the Pope fits in with the things Jesus said in the Gospels, because I’m just too ignorant to understand it. And I know that saying I’m ignorant sounds snide and cutesy and dismissive, but that’s not my intention. There are many educated, rational, intelligent people around the world who believe in Catholicism and who believe in the Pope, and I just want to understand their thinking.

(While we’re at it, perhaps somebody can explain to me how anyone who believes in a man that advised us all to “turn the other cheek” could possibly countenance the U.S. invasion of Iraq, or the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan for that matter. George W. Bush and many of his Republican allies claim to be devout students of Jesus. Fine. But Jesus specifically said that when a bunch of violent, malignant fuckheads slam planes into the World Trade Center and murder three thousand innocent people, your job is to:

  1. Forgive the hijackers
  2. Pray for them
  3. Reach out to your enemies with love and understanding

(You can choose to believe that’s a wise course of action or not. There are plenty of neoconservatives out there that can make logical, rational arguments for our wars that have nothing to do with religion. But the New Testament is pretty clear about Jesus’ opinion. So do you believe in what the guy with the long hair and sandals said, or don’t you? How can you believe in the war — in any war — and yet still believe in Jesus?)

So I really would like someone to explain how people can claim to be devout students of Jesus and yet have such blatant disregard for the things he actually, you know, said.

* If you’re going to respond to this little unfocused rant, please don’t respond with any of the following:

  1. “Well, the liberals/Muslims/Jews/atheists/Democrats claim to believe x and yet they do y.” Yes, I’m perfectly aware that all of these groups are stuffed to the gills with hypocritical fuckheads too. We’ll get to them another time.
  2. “All religion is stupid and illogical.” Bully for you for believing that, but that doesn’t help me understand what’s going through these people’s heads any better. And I really, really, really want to.
  3. My religion/branch/sect/creed is much better than those rotten Catholics because…” Again, wonderful, rant about that all you want on your own blog, but I don’t want to hear it on mine. Here, we only rant about things that I want to rant about.